YSA Wards Somehow Manage to Invent Even More Callings

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In an effort to help all their members feel involved, young single adult congregations across the state of Utah have announced a slew of new callings, including Sunday Parking Lot Coordinator, Official Bread Gluten-Checker, and Ward Sacrament Meeting Back-Tickler.

“Holding a calling is a crucial part of serving in the church,” one local bishop explained. “Unfortunately there have only been so many callings to go around — until now.”

Holladay resident Sarah Nielsen says she welcomes the opportunity to take a more active part in her ward. “I’ve always loved Sundays, but I approach them with a renewed mindset now that I have something to do,” she said. “I love my new calling as PDA Breaker-Upper.” Nielsen added that her boyfriend, who was recently called as Really Loud Amen-Sayer, feels the same way.

Other newly instituted callings include Podium Flower Arranger, Post-Sacrament Hallway Linger-Starter, Chair Stacking Coordinator, That One Person Who Always Sings The Hymns Slightly Louder Than Everyone Else, Awkward Hallway Hugger, Every-Month Testimony Bearer, Organist Pep-Talk Giver, Person Who Asks If Someone Is New When They’ve Actually Been In The Ward For Over A Year, and Third Wheel.

Jason WoodwardComment